Thursday, November 27, 2008

As Long As You Whisper..

I was alone. And it didn't matter what I did or what I didn't do, they were not here. I was alone, no matter what.

It was like I couldn't appreciate myself. And it made me feel so god damn small.

I miss everything.
I miss not being missed.
I miss it all.

I was sitting here, accompanied by my sadness.
I just want to cry into a pair of shoulders that will hold my tears.
They don't see my pain, the pain that I hide so well, is there an Oscar waiting for me because I'm so good at acting as though everything is fine.

Only the screams are lodged in my throat. And I wish that I could let it all out.
But if I scream silently, does that mean that no one hears them and that my screams don't count?

I did a terrible mistake. I was a smoke monster. I wrote sins, I wrote tragedies.
I wished tears fix this. And they did. That means.. I did.

As long as you whisper..
Or however that shit goes..

I can heal the pains.


Adinda Adhit said...

Pain, it come and go. I know you're a strong guuuurrlllll! Finally you heal your days. I'm happy for you :-)

Unknown said...

HEAL should happen immediately after the event, so that you can still appreciate the gravity of the pain and helps you internalize the correction in your attitude fast. You'd be surprised to see how quickly people notice that positive change in you :)


Maya Junita said...

Thanks.. you both are my angels!

Unknown said...

Apa sih maksudnya?
Made lo pernah kenapa sih?
Kok frustrasi kedengerannya?
Lilinnya motret sendiri ya?
Gw angel loe juga bukan?

Maya Junita said...

No, but I am your angel! :D

This was sound of my heart. Just babbling about an empty feeling. Shit! I thought you understood, Curly!