Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Hold up, hold on, don't be scared you'll never change what's been and gone. May your smile shine on don't be scared your destiny may keep you warm.

It has been a hot week since I have been around this little blog o' mine. Adjusting at the new office was kind of confusing but I won't bore you with the details.

I've realized there are so many lessons in life. Many that we will be taught and learn for experiences and examples. Life is so precious yet difficult, but it is so meaningful all at the same time. It's mind-blowing to think that every little think that we do, effects something else like the big domino effect of life. That left me with a lot of what-ifs that always make me anxious, unsure and insecure. Those feelings ruined my heart last month. Being away from Mas is scary because of all the "What-ifs".

To make long story short, July 2013 was totally not my favourite month of my life. I am not good with stress because of separation anxiety. I thought I could handle this very well but I did not anticipate other things, such as the drastic decrease in number of texts we shared, no "Good Morning", no "Hello", and so on. I miss him. And being a wee bit away from him made me feel very insecure. I cried and asked for God's help to make me stronger each minute. But now I'm getting better. I'm still working on it and it's just a long process of throwing away my junk thoughts that I really thought I had gotten rid of a lot, but apparently, NOT.. With a little bit patience, effort, and pray, I started see a difference in my heart. I just need to trust Mas. And God for He will always bring comfort for me. :)

I am so thankful that God brought him to love me, to be my rock to lean on in hard times even though he wasn't always here physically. There are good times and then there are times when I feel like I could just pull my hair out haha.. But I guess that's just a relationship between a man and a woman. I know there are a lot of people who would simple throw in the towel when the going gets tough but that is just not me.. I'm not a quitter, and I hope neither one of us are quitters.

Amen to that.

♥, Me.