Sunday, October 24, 2010

When you almost gave up your dreams they take you by the hand and show you that you can there are no boundaries.

Boundaries: Something that indicated the farthest limit.

In my whole life, I have been a pretty tough girl. I always held my own and took care of myself, even though for the most part I didn't navigated through life pretty well, but I have taken on this persona as a 'tough girl'.

Some of my closest friends always came to me with their problems and we'd work them out together, but it was rare that I went to them when when I was in trouble because I just want to figure it out on my own. Being vulnerable with another person is not exactly something that comes easy to me. I have felt the need to hold it together for the sake of everyone else. I would like to point out that I, in no way, think I am some soft of saint, or special for any reason. It's simply just because the way I am.

I don't necessarily think it's a good thing either. I find myself keeping people at an arms length away because that's what I have always done. And for the most part that has worked. My family knew I could handle a lot and never pried much, my friends always saw me as the 'strong one' and never thought I needed much, my ex-boyfriends never really read me well enough to see that I needed MORE that I let on. That was my role: care taker. I never wanted people to feel the need to carry that burden on themselves and I also didn't want people to see me as.. 'weak'.

Boundaries are something that I have gown accustomed to. It helps protect me from the unknown. I don't have to worry about opening up too much to the people around me. I have met few people who can see beyond that and remind me that it is okay to 'feel' things - to show emotion and to be vulnerable. I find it so funny that they can see and understand myself, and they can make me feel safe. Like I can be myself without having to explain the things I do or say. And sometimes, they are the ones that show me things that I didn't even see myself, which is not something to take for granted.

I am being pushed to stop putting up walls as a way to keep people out. There might be ways to let people in without getting hurt or looking 'weak' in the process. I take pride in the fact that I am who I am all the time. For the most part, I like the person I am and am very fond of people who are themselves all the time. I don't wanna have to guess which person I am going to get whatever situation we are in. I am just me: happy, sad, good mood, or bad mood.

I'm thankful for the people in my life that get me. Because of them, I've learned so much about myself, and the growth is an important thing. I don't think anybody no matter the age stop growing as people. I think that constantly looking inward at the things that could use improvement cannot only benefit ourselves personally, but to those around us. So boundaries are good to a certain extent. Every person has his or her limit. But sometimes all we need is someone to hold our hand as we navigate through those days that seem near impossible to get through.

"Sometimes it's okay to let people in when we're feeling down. Better yet, it's just okay to "feel" things. To be sad or mad or just plain down in the dumps but that trying to push it down is never a smart or health way to deal with our hurt and pain. God brings people into our lives so they can share in our experiences, both good and bad." -RGH.

♥, Me.

[link] to image source.


Unknown said...

Wow, I didn't think there were still people who thought as much as this. Most people are just numb, they don't think about anything deeper than getting smashed. I was beginning to doubt... Anyway, found this website by accident and read the article above. You're strong and unique,and that is a gift. I'm the same, I know what you go through. Anyway sorry for the random comment, keep on blogging!

Maya Junita said...

Thank you for posting your comment. Trust me there are so many sane people left, welcome them to your life :)