Friday, February 9, 2024

#Yasudahlah of the Let It Be.

For those close to me, you must know that I am the type of person who is descriptive and methodical in explaining my feelings and thoughts. I want people not to misinterpret me and to understand why I hold certain opinions. I am still the same person, but lately, I find myself less inclined to argue or express my thoughts/feelings if I feel they will contradict with my conversation partner.

I greatly value others' opinions, but now I've become somewhat indifferent.

I took a moment to introspect after realising that many of my conversations and responses began with "tapi" or "cuma", even though I did NOT mean to convey something contradictory. It's as simple as being confused about how to structure the response or opinion, so "tapi" or "cuma" comes out. Similar to how someone starts a sentence/conversation with "jadi..." without actually concluding anything. After realising this habit of mine, I slowly started to change the way I construct sentences.

I've also started to complain less and listen more to others. I have reduced responding to something from its negative side and tried to appreciate more or express the positive side first when responding to someone's story. In short, amidst my linguistic limitations, I am trying to create a better version of myself.

It sounds unimportant, doesn't it? But I don't know why, I am a very self-aware and want to learn to be a better person, if that makes sense. I mean, many problems in life are caused by communication, so (maybe) the solution to the problems also lies in the quality of communication(?).

Unfortunately, my efforts have gradually led to frustration for myself.

For example, Person A asked for umbrella recommendations so I recommended the place where I bought my umbrella that has lasted for 7 years. Then Person A buys an umbrella there, but unfortunately, it breaks within a week. Person A immediately calls me and says, "The umbrella is broken, you know what, the high quality umbrella is only available in Store X." And I was like... dude, you said ONLY implying doubt about my recommendation even though my umbrella has lasted 7 years?

But perhaps their intention was to let me know they got a good umbrella at Store X, but the use of the word ONLY seems unnecessary, right? So I thought: Do some people feel they don't need to choose their words carefully? And, to make it more dramatic *cuz I like drama*, I started to recall that they did NOT even say thanks after I took the time to answer when asked about the umbrella recommendation.

Another example is about complaining. I am trying to complain less because I'm getting tired of only seeing things from the negative sides. Then comes Person B, who complains about something yang... mon maap w juga ngga punya solusinya. Trus gimana? Gue juga ngga bisa bantu.

There's also Person C, asking for shoe color recommendations. I knew that Person C doesn't like things getting dirty, so I answered: Do. Not. Buy. White. Shoes. But they still bought white shoes *YAY!!* and for SIX consecutive months, they keep complaining to me about their shoes getting dirty *YAY AGAIN!!!*

Or, there's a circumstances where Person D always "corrects" and "lectures". Even though if you analyse the discussion, it was actually a very CASUAL conversation, so there's no need to be so lecturing. #duh

I couldn't help but wonder what goes on inside people's mind when they seem unable to see the positive side of things. But I try to keep reminding myself of the importance of understanding in fostering meaningful connections with others, but today I am like, wadafuq...

So I began to entertain the idea of adopting a "let it be" alias "yasudahlah" approach, since I've found myself contemplating the value of simply remaining silent and prematurely ending conversations. After all, it was entirely possible that the other's opinion was valid, so there was a little benefit in prolonging the discussion.

I suppose it's a natural consequence when individuals, including myself, have grown up with different focuses and perspectives. Amidst these differences, I hold onto the belief that maintaining friendships should take precedence. Sometimes, it is more crucial to maintain understanding than to engage in debates over trivial matters.

And that's how I decided to retire "Coffee Talk" - because I'm learning the art of silence, recognizing that it often speaks louder than words, especially in preserving the bonds that matter most. Hopefully...