Carpe Diem.

Almost everyday, I wake up with a sense of insecurity knowing that so far I always feel like there are better things I could be doing with my time. I wonder sometimes.. if we ever can escape hardships.

I have been standing at a crossroad in life for almost a year now. I want to make some decisions that could ultimately affect the rest of my life. Apart from this pandemic, it's so hard to choose which path to take (this pandemic apparently set a temporary decision for me so I find it quite off that I can be completely confident in my decision making skills).

When we come to a crossroad in life and need to choose a path, we tend to overanalyse everything, as if a "pros and cons list" is going to be some magical solution that makes a certain decision easier to make or guarantees a good outcome. Cuz control is a basic human instinct and nobody wants to make a bad choice. Who doesn't want to feel like they are in control of their life?

I've wasted more energy over thinking things that I end up exhausting myself in the process, that by the time I get to the end result I'm tired and could care less what I am even doing. I find myself in situations where I had just made my decision based on 2 every simple emotions I wouldn't have gone through half the battle it took to finally choose. I waste a lot of time with that decision making process that I think I can sometimes forget what it is exactly I'm deciding on.

One thing that makes everything feels better is the fact that I truly believe that God's timing is perfect.

We may not be able to wrap our brains around certain things in our lives, but God has a plan and we have to rest easy knowing that God will work it out - like He always does. Might not make sense but in the end it doesn't really matter. We don't always need the cotrol of knowing exactly why things happen or have turned out how they do, which coming from a control freak is a difficult task.

I guess that why I have to sit back and enjoy the now instead of worrying about the timing of things.

I need to remind myself -on a daily basis!- that life is what we make it. We can either live in fear of what might happen or embrace our future and the endless possibilities that are ahead and get excited for where life is going.

Carpe diem. Sound's cliche, but maybe most of us need to live by that.