When I wake up here tomorrow things will never be the same, cuz I won't wait, cuz you won't change and you'll always be this way.

It's crazy to think that it's only been one month since I graduated and back to work. I've gradually re-settled into the casual comfort of my "normal" life. Going to work, seeing my colleagues, thinking, discussing, headaches, traffic jam, getting paid, enjoying life under my employee hat. Despite the tolerance and happiness I've grown towards my normal life, there's something so unfulfilling about it. I miss seeing my (ex)classmates; the nerdy-ness, the discussion, the laughs, heavy books, Saturday morning coffee, all of them..

We may not all be living life as we would want it, so I think all of us who are at transitional stages should be ready to move to something new. I have a friend who liked to say, "The best thing about semesters is that they end." Semesters are great like stories, are great like novels, are great like movies: they all have a beginning, a middle, and an end. And so does school. So you can see where I'm going with this: closing down "Campus Life" label is like dying.

Not that. But it is something I'm trying to feel satisfied about, something I want to let be an ending in the best narrative sense of the world :)

I've got a lot of catching up to do. I need to find my place again, among the members of my society. It may or may not be worth writing about, but I hope I will not blog again under "Campus Life" label. It would, in someways, be good for me to be writing about the job perhaps. There are a lot of things about my job, this advisory firm, and the way the place works that make for serious blog content. Of course my employer names will remain secrets here because I feel like I would likely get fired if I were found out while doing a lot of unsavory blogging lol. See ya!

♥, Me

49 days to the graduation ceremony.

For the last 2 years, whenever I meet somebody and they ask, "What do you do?" I have always been able to answer, "I'm a postgrad student and an employee." It's a satisfying answer for someone of my age. It seems to fit my station in life. But now when they ask, I only tell them that I am an employee.. at a consulting firm.. doing some IT Governance-related works.. and I like my job. Like unfortunately, being a "postgraduate" only seems to get one so far. You know, people always expect you to do something more, and a follow-up question like, "So what do you do for money?" just makes me very uncomfortable because it's not satisfying.

So I found myself lacking one identity as a student. But someday I will get used to this climate, right? I hope so :)

♥, Me

G is for Graduation.

Writing.

Almost every aspect of my life involves writing. I work as a consultant, I produce "documents". I enjoy blogging, means I really love putting my thoughts (and sometimes they're mindless) into writing. I always write wordy IM to my friends. But when it comes to write a master thesis.. I didn't enjoy it. It's funny how during the most exciting and eventful time of my life, I'm the least likely to write. Writing a master thesis is a traumatic experience for me, which is sad. I was feeling forced, worked under big pressure, and I know I could've done better. When you write it is literally yourself versus yourself, without pressure from anyone & anywhere, you will try at maximum effort to pull ideas that could possibly go anywhere from your brain.

And so I must announce here, during my absence in the world of blogging, I have been transformed from miserable grad student to near-alumnus. Two days ago, at approximately 11:50 a.m I passed my thesis defense for Master of Science in Psychology. There are some minor revision needed, and in about 10 days, I should be done forever. I will make my best effort to make this thesis more beautiful and "sounds knowledgeable".

The new and improved chapter of my life has now begun. The last 2 years will be missed.

Visiting new libs.

New libs.

Library has Starbucks!

My signature on Starbucks' wall.

My friend Chia. Both of us has PAD (Post-it Acquisition Disorder).

Chia passed her thesis defense 24 hours before meh :) Yay!

Master of Science!

♥, Me

Blessings in disguise.

First thing first. I had to thank my friend Qintara for making me a count down to birthday card. I received this photo on Thursday. Seems like everyone's getting into iPhone photo application, but it's very awesome:

I will be honest. I'm not a birthday person - meaning I never very excited about my birthday after I turned 21. And this year, I sorta just wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.

So, yesterday was my 24th birthday. The day itself started out well. I finished the first draft of my thesis, from the first until the fifth chapter plus an intervention program guideline at 01:30 am. I had 2 friends who kept me accompanied during the writing process and they were very excited to be the first person who says Happy Birthday to Yooou! via IM (thank you Peach and RGH!). Finally, I fell asleep at 02:00 am.

I woke up in the morning feeling stiff and sleepy and without thinking took a glass of coffee. I attended a 2-hours meeting at the office before I went to the school giving this thesis progress to my advisor. It wasn't until I got to school when my colleagues asked me to go to the karaoke. I actually wasn't expecting to do anything that night because Mondays are typically my crash-the-second-I-get-home day. On my way back to the office, I decided to get a cup of coffee. Damn you sleepy eyes!

Let me say that I didn't take any of my own pics last night and I couldn't try to give you an idea of how great the night was. We went to the karaoke at 06:30 pm until 09:00 pm. The fourteen of us sang, screamed, danced, and yelled to each other for more than 2 hours. It was a nice birthday, not just because I have the best family and friends, but also because I was spoiled by all my colleagues. This made my birthday this year was truly special. Well honestly, I know birthdays are specials - I'm just not a birthday person, but I know birthdays are specials. I think the 25th year is going to turn out pretty awesome after all. More coffee please..

♥, Me.

Holythesisbatmanmessyroom! Part 2.

Pictures worth 1,000 words, you wouldn't need wordy explanation. It's so very stressing me out.

Undergraduate thesis (2008-2009) [link]:

Master thesis (2011):

The ascension of procrastination.

I've come to the conclusion that I cannot learn or work without music. The only thing that matters: I need to hear some words. That's true. I vowed to make a new playlist every month, and to be specific, I name the playlists "(Month) (Year)". But if you see the current playlists on my iPod, you wouldn't find April 2011 and May 2011 playlist, because I made the most brilliant playlist name *eh-ver*: Thesis Anthem. It accurately describes my inner turmoil and backpain. It consists of 125 songs from 1960s to 2011; from Fleetwood Mac to Demi Lovato via Sixpence None The Ritcher; from alternative rock to acapella; and from boybands to gays.

Other than the "Thesis Anthem", I like to keep coffee by my desk because the caffeine and its smell wakes me up. Bengawan Solo's Brandi Cookies is the best, followed by 7-eleven's Cappucino, or maybe Torabika's Cappucino (I don't like Starbucks' frappie). I just dragged myself to the nearest 7-eleven (Pondok Indah) and bought a medium cup of hot cappucino. I usually have it cold in my own tumbler, but now aka the lazy and sleepy night, hot cappucino have won me over. And look, I use paper glass (not tumbler) which means I hope it will get colder soon. Kaboom!

Okay, so this post is just another form of procrastination. I hate thesis. Oh yes, there must be a holiday in some part of this country tomorrow. Congratulations! Once again, I hate thesis. Okay, I promise for the next hours, I will put all stress aside and just enjoy life while I work. Bye.

♥, Me.

Oh sweet lungs don't fail me now your burning has turned into fear it drills me in my every step I'm moving quick but you're always on my heels.

To give you a little back story, at the end of 2010, I decided to take a 6-months *unpaid* study leave to finish my master's thesis and finally-finally-finally graduate....

But taking a 6-months break from your job doesn't mean you can fully concentrated to your thesis. Up until that point, I had been too consumed with 'the elation' of leaving my job and the pressure of finishing this thesis to think of the sacrificed I made in order to graduate this June. However, I wasn't really productive. The first chapter was brutally hard, and my advisor wouldn't let me to go to the next chapter without finishing the first. First chapter is the baseline, the guideline, the answer of "Why are you writing this thesis? Why did you choose this topic? And other Whys." But my absolute question is: Why do we have to write a master thesis? Argh!

With my chronic lack of thesis productivity I decided to accept a part-time position in the company when my bosses offered it last month. I need something to divert my attention when I am suffering from "Panic at the Thesis" moments. Though I certainly didn't regret my old decision to take a break from my job, during my absences I realized that whenever something is gained, something else disappears. Therefore, a part-time position seems to be a win-win solution for me and the company, because they also need me haha! So, COBIT and QA, I'm coming back to yoooou..!

Monday morning, I finally turned in Chapter 1. It was 18 pages long, that equals FOUR MONTHS hard work, and TWO months overdue from my own timeline. As I expected, my advisor approved it on Tuesday and now all I have to do is write the second chapter (which is Literature Review), and yet I am still staring at a blank page and am feeling a little bit stupid.

Okay, so the page isn't exactly or 100% blank. I have an outline, but it doesn't do much good. The headings I've made are good, but there's nothing good under those headings. So now, it's a good night to start reading a new book about Performance Management Improvement that will boost your "Self-Efficacy" (ahem, my thesis topic!), but since I have one pending work, I think I'm going to wear my employee hat right now.

See you tomorrow thesis!

♥, A miserable Master of Applied Psychology in Human Resource student.

Will they give me the chair or lethal injection or swing from a rope if you dare nobody knows all the trouble I've seen.

When the task of of writing a master thesis has become the number one priority of a postgrad student, a miserable student like me could easily transform our habits of procrastination into a "productive discussion session" with the schoolmates. Sometimes it involves taking our laptop and textbooks to the coffee shop once until 3 times a week. See, thesis has become our lifestyle.

Sometimes, coffee shop studying is less distracting than the oh-so-studious library or my bedroom. At my bedroom, all I could do is leaning on the desk with my left hand (and the other one is busy making box in the desktop) and questioning why we must write a thesis, whyyy?? - whereas going to the school library never makes anything easier since the lazy Librarians always driving me nuts. At the coffee shop, such as Starbucks, the ambiance helps, but the couch is very harmful. The coffee price also very dangerous for your wallet. So in my personal theory, going to a coffee shop to write your thesis is not always a good decision, but it gives you an opportunity to make a little progress. For what it's worth, the underlying theory of my assumption is Vroom's Expectancy-Value Theory. Don't worry, I won't discuss the gory details about that theory.

I managed to stay productive this long weekend. I've read three books this weekend although I have not yet written anything on my thesis paper. And now my eyes are very funky and I'm more than ready to hit the hay.

♥, Me

If you saw the world through my eyes, then you wouldn't feel so high rise. It's time to take a chance you've gotta sit back and hold tight.

Road to our master's thesis..

.. is involving 3 major things:

1. Discussion
2. Coffee
3. Camera

♥, Me.

Come on ladies, it's time to pop that top and fellas, I know you're ready to rock. We went crazy cooped all winter long and school is out.

My first vacation in 2011 was with my postgrad school classmates. As I announced before, we went to the land of God, a.k.a Bali. Three previous hardcore semesters worth a 3-days sweet escape (Jan 13 night to 16).

By the way, last semester proved to be the toughest semester, EVER. If I wasn't an IT consultant and I don't understand what Software Development Life Cycle is, I will not get an A for HRIS subject which means I would get the straight f-ing Bs! Thanks to my job. Once again, THANK YOU, MY JOB!

So thesis.. Here we come!

♥, Me.